The Gift of Friendship

January 18th, 2012

Of all the things we acquire along the way in life I believe our bonds of friendships are by far one the most important things we do for ourselves and those we share our life experiences with be it for a short period of time or a lifetime.

Friendships are wonderful things.  Unlike the family we are born into, friendships are the one thing we get to choose for ourselves.  We try them on and see how they feel and if we click, find that common thread then the bond cements and as the sayings goes we’re “friends for life”!  Friendships do however come in many forms and define themselves for the purpose they serve.  Some friendships are more in the nature of just acquaintances and then there are those that seem only to grace our lives but for a moment.  These friendships show up in our life just when we need them to, to fill a void, to share a common goal, to teach us, to support and give us exactly what we need in that moment and then in doing so have fulfilled their purpose with no need to stay longer.

Over the years I’ve discovered the beauty of those that form my circle of friendships and I’ve come to understand that real friendships are true gifts.

True friendship is being exactly who we are, warts and all.  There is no judgment, no scorecard to keep, no resentment or jealousy.  There is give and take on both sides and in the end it always balances out.  We celebrate our blessings together, support each other through the difficult times and grieve our losses together.  There have been times in my life where I have felt like I’ve taken more than I’ve given.  When it has seemed that I’ve leaned too much on their support, needed their love to get me through the difficult times and taken them on my journeys that perhaps were not my right to do so but yet they came along and here is what I’ve discovered.  The celebrations are beautiful and easy but when we journey through the difficult times, moving along in empathy down the path of that which we have not yet encountered the opportunity to gain from the experience exists.   I’ve come to realize that through these experiences I am now better equipped to deal when “it” or something similar has become a reality in my life.  So what we perceive as asking too much of our friendships is never the case as we are always allowing each other the opportunity to grow in the truest sense of give and take.  The best friendships have no expiry date; there are no contracts to sign, no start date, end date and no negotiated terms and conditions.  It is simply based on the condition that my life and my little space in the universe is a better place with you in it.  There is a connection that cannot be broken by time or distance.  The pleasure of reconnecting and picking up from were we left off; is as if it were only yesterday that we last spoke or saw one another.  The focus is not about the loss of time but rather reaffirming the beauty of the reconnection.

So whether you have one or many friendships in your life remember the wonderful part is that our heart has the endless capacity to hold them all and make room for more.  So go ahead and fill up your life with as many friendships as you can.   After all, it is I believe the greatest gift you can give yourself.

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